Growing Up Asian

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Original Music by Christopher Carlone
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[music]. i'm sorry gigi alright hello everyone . there's gonna be a different episode . it's not really a hypothetical we just . just felt like talking you know i'm here . in california right now we're staying at . a john's mom's place . john's mom's juh mom's place and it may . be remember some things of like what it . was like to live at home or growing up . asian i guess i'm here today joined by a . couple friends . hello i am claire 9 mel boy this is john . i'm sure we all have no slippers in the . house no slippers sorry no shoes no . shoes no shoes always slippers yeah do . you have that basket of slippers at the . front door yep when people come over we . always offer slippers there's just an . abundance of slippers my issue with . slippers is i end up walking outside a . lot on accident with them on so it . defeats the purpose of having so it's . like i got to get my mail it's outside . and i don't think about i just walk out . and then was like well now my slippers . are dirty what different you ever have . white friends that go to bed would shoes . on. yeah actually new people yeah i have . friends do that first i was visiting his . house and he just laid down on his bed . with his shoes what's the urgency that . you need to have your shoes on at all . time but it's like the opposite for them . it's like if i come into the house and i . try to take my shoes off like no just . keep your shoes on dude . and i probably feel safer that way . anyways if i wear my shoes in there from . an asian family we don't really do . allowances i never understood that i . didn't either i said my friends were . like yeah i get like $100 a week like . for doing what i know for existing i ask . my parents why don't we get allowance . they didn't know what that is it's an. allowance in the house so you're just . getting paid but my allowance was like . three dollars . one of my main methods of gaining money . as a kid was when i picked white hair . from my parents and they gave me money . for each one i plucked out how much did . you get it started off like a quarter . for a hair and then went down to like . ten cents and five cents and then went . down there just like a penny and then . they got older obviously they got more . hair and then they realized oh this is . not a good model because i'm gonna get . bald so then they just started dyeing . their hair they don't food eating . etiquette yes i mean what you just . learned with john swan right if you get . real fast they're like oh you must . really like the food so he just like . dumped more food on your flight and then . you're just like sitting there full back . yeah so the trick is just eat really . slow i learn now yeah we just have a . bowl of rice or whatever and we have . like all the side dishes in the middle . no one's gonna force you to like get . more rice or like get more of this if . you're done you're done it's not a . question like you want more it's like oh . you want more the dew is silent in your . sentences just for my family i don't . know about you guys but every time when . i have a friend who invites me for like . dinner like parents are always like oh . you have to bring something nice you . know bring this wine bottle then we've. been like saving up for like the past . five years yeah you i invited you to i . think it was new year's dinner and then. you brought was that like the the bird's . nest. yeah i don't even know what it is . apparently supposed to be really healthy . bird spit soup things yeah like you gave . it to my parents the instructions were . in chinese like we don't know how to eat . this i'm like okay i'll ask claire yeah . your mom makes a lot of leftovers and . that's like the mindset my family grew . up with like we always either make too . much food because they want to bring it . for lunch like to work the next day we . call it botwin . i don't like wasting food that's why we . have a term for when there's like a . little bit of food left and you gotta . eat it clean it's called to see more . killings yeah kill it to the spec. there's like the chinese saying like . every speck of rice and your bowl is. like that's gonna be on your lover's . face or something lover's face bar . you're like husbands or your wife's face . like it'll like turn into something bad . so if you don't finish your food your . life becomes ugly yeah something like . that. because it's generally known that . filipinos have like flat-ish noses . so like when every morning like instead . of just saying like wake up my mom would . just walk into my room and just into the . bridge of my nose i'm like i was like . captain america super soldier serum all . the time i had a new liquid a new pill . all the time she every morning she would . like pat my legs down and stretch my . legs out try to make me as long as . possible and i'm the tallest person in . my family to take the chinese medicine . stuff you go to chinese doctors you have . a bunch of drawers with like deer . antlers and bugs. and there and then you go there you're . like i want my kid to be taller like . alright i got you and i'm like yeah i'm . just like weird stuff make a drink i . think that koreans are obsessed with . medication that makes you taller i guess . that's true cuz like all the koreans in. my high school and freedom like we're . super tall i was in between two koreans . pack and park yeah so i was like in . between him and like freaking graduation . it was just like tall as korean him than . me and like another tallest korean what . clothes my mom would just steals my. clothing especially because we're like . about the same height like i would just . go home like after annal university i . have like a month off and i visit going . to my closet find like 10 things missing . and i look over on my mom and she's like . wearing the exact sweater that i wanted . to wear does she do the thing where it's . like when she's buying you a gift she's . buying it with the intent that she's . gonna wear well i did come on where i . grew up pretty much every kid had a . tutor every day and it's like for every . subject if everyone has a tutor what's . the point of going to school there is no . point going to school they learn so much . more but then all of the teachers feel . like man is so smart . yeah if he just like oh man all these . kids are so smart like no we just have a . lot of tutors helping and i just go to . school . twice we had like math pest and stuff . right this is back in china and i think . i got like a 96 and then my mom was . visiting from canada . and the teacher called me out and had a . meeting with my mom and she's like oh . this is your daughter's grade and then . my mom looks at it it's like a 90 . seconds pretty good . and she's like nana that's the lowest . mark in our class system you get like a . check mark or a check plus check - check . - do you know oh no - let me just edit . that into a plus you guys get hit yes i . got hit verbally and those both made us . write letters of apologies like i wonder . if like principles that actually read . that mine definitely did because you . would read it and if you would like show . us our mistakes as well this wrongs . take the damn apology this is one time . in high school i was in my social . studies class or something like that and . i was just sitting there it's really . boring class and then gabe kicks the . door open right and he my friend gave he . kicks the door up and he's like ma'am i . need jon right now so so she looked at . him like okay or is that what do you . need him for he's like it's an emergency . so i walked out the doors like dude . what's wrong did something there's . something happened what's wrong it's . like dude i just got you out of class . isn't that sick i was like oh emily we . just we just left and then we just want . to go hang out - school's over here when . you go to a school you know how you have . to give him your context like your. parents or whatever who to call when . this an issue and i just put my grandpa . so then cuz he can't speak english there . was a point where it and my friend's mom . called me in the middle like the night . i'll call him a call him andrew or randy . or randy because his mom called me in . the middle of the night and she was . smart about this she called me on andy's . cell phone she took his cell phone it. called me like hey what's up and she's. just crying like this you just tell me . something like i'm just like oh my golly . i was like i'm what i like i didn't know . what to say i've never been in this . situation where a mom called me and . called me a piece of i can't hang . out with somebody else like jesus christ . i don't know what to do i'm pretty sure . me and randy had to hang out like . secretly or something i don't know randy . randy let down your hair i can't my mom . bull cut me thank relieve me like a lot . of my friends they had a band and long . relationships especially during high . school their parents like you cannot . have a boyfriend or girlfriend they . should have just been like you can't see . your girlfriend unless you get an a and. then you'd be like okay yeah that's like . that's the better incentive like if you . can like i'll drive you i'll pay for . your date tonight i think i don't know . if it was my first or my second . girlfriend but i remember i told my dad . and he's like oh you have a girlfriend . how many yeah they were just like date . as much as you can now because then you. you'll learn and you won't make stupid. mistakes later when you're an adult when . i grew up i obviously wasn't the . smartest student and my family was . always worried about that but they kind . of got over it but my grandparents never . got over it and there was this one time . where i released an animation it was ice . cream to back in like 2009 or something . right and it was the first time i ever . got paid for an animation i got $100 . from stick paige calm in back then i was . like a million dollars to a kid right i . was like holy carp i can make money . doing this i can buy some new bones but . then my grandpa pulled me aside one. night and he's like hey john you know i . think it's cool that you like to draw. these weird stick people but you know i . don't want you taking money from the . internet because that's blood money and . it's like you have to get a real job you . know you have to you have to work with . your own hands you hard labor but once . my mom saw she was like holy crap you. would this is what you're doing this . whole time i thought you were just dumb . like go ahead keep doing this . she was interesting like like i went to . some art schools and stuff i would . always like know what it's like there's . nine girls for every one guy i remember . talking about i'm just like don't notice . that none of the guys are asian like why . and she just started poking like asians . never let their kids become artists. especially females and then she tells me . stories like parents like they would . like break their kids crayons and stuff . like like like if they found her kid . drawing they would immediately crush all. their dreams . yeah like literally crushed all their . supplies i'm like 4,000 and only being . given my math following city or . something i don't know you guys ever . been bullied for being asian in your . school like racist kids no no y-you . frickin yeah all asians i think was like . chinese japanese in high school i was . like walking home from from my friend's . house. i'm just walking by this house that . garage is open and a bunch of these . little like from the boy white kids in . the garage and then they look at me and . they're like go back to the railroad and . like what thought i'm not even chinese . look i didn't contribute to that took me . all the process what they meant but i . knew it was racist people made fun of my . accent because i used to have a chinese . accent when i first came to canada . yeah that was about it i don't really . practice they gotta look at home so when . i went to the philippines instead of . speaking tagalog i just started speaking . english with it filipino accent try to . like try to blend in you got a korean . name even though you were born here yeah . i mean lee it's decided by grandparents . usually well like if you get really . traditional you go to a fortune teller . and they assign you a syllable how do . you say park in like korean like korean . accent it's just packed i don't know is . that another one of variances like pack . yeah like mine is likely but there is no . l in the korean enunciation . it's just ii like is it random but i . forgot to mention earlier in the getting . hit part those one time my mom got . really mad at me and try to throw a shoe . and then is she missing a hit my brother . she like you can cast that in later you . know what i didn't have as a kid. security on the 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