Donald Trump vs. Hillary Clinton Town Hall Debate Cold Open – SNL

Donald Trump (Alec Baldwin) and Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon) take questions from undecided voters (Leslie Jones, Beck Bennett, Michael Che, Bobby Moynihan, Kyle Mooney) in the second presidential debate.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> hello and welcome to the second and worst ever presidential debate. i'm martha raddatz. >> and i'm anderson cooper. and before we begin, we just need to do one last thing. [ laughter and applause ] >> much better. now let's get this nightmare started. please help us welcome the candidates. republican nominee donald trump and -- can we say this yet? >> probably fine. >> -- president hillary clinton. [ cheers and applause ] ? ? >> thank you. thank you both for being here. >> thank you. i'd like to begin by attempting a casual lean. [ laughter ] got it! >> martha, tonight i'm going to do three things. i'm going to huff, i'm going to puff, and i'm going to blow this whole thing. >> now tonight's debate is a town hall, which means we'll be taking questions from voters in the audience. they are undecided, uncommitted and not remotely camera ready. >> secretary clinton, we'll start with you. your question comes from patrice brock. >> hello. my question is, do you feel that you are modeling appropriate and positive behavior for today's youth? >> hi, patrice. let me start by walking over to you, just as i practiced. [ laughter ] right left, right left, right left, look, speak. okay. now you're a teacher? >> no. >> you have kids? >> no. >> you like kids? >> no. >> you've seen kids? >> yes. >> great. okay, we're bonding already. my friend, patrice, i strive to be a positive role model for all children. children like my daughter chelsea, and my granddaughter chelsea jr. >> mr. trump, same question. do you feel you're modeling appropriate and positive behavior for today's youth? >> no. next. >> so you don't care about the kids? >> anderson, i love kids. okay, i love them so much i marry them. i've been helping kids my whole life. in 1992, i helped a kid named kevin mcallister find a hotel lobby. remember the documentary "home alone ii, lost in new york. " >> okay, moving on, mr. trump, we received a lot of questions online about the audio tape that was released last week of you bragging about sexually assaulting women. >> listen, what i said is nothing compared to what bill clinton has done. okay? he has abused women. and martha, anderson, hold on to your nips and your nuts, because four of these women are here tonight. four of them. >> wait, i'm sorry. who's here? >> mistresses? bill, how could you? oh, how will i go on with this debate? i'll never be able to remember my facts and figures now. oh, donald, no! get real, i made a steal. this is nothing. hi, girls. [ cheers and applause ] >> martha, she is trying to silence these women, but they need to be respected and they need their voices heard. >> and what about the women accusing you of sexual assault? >> they need to shut the hell up. [ laughter ] >> alright, let's move on. our next question is from ken carpowicz. >> thank you. i've got a boring one. the affordable care act is not affordable. what will you do to bring the costs down and make coverage better? >> well, ken, that's actually a great question. i agree that obamacare can be approved, ken. but, ken, it does have its benefits. and number one, insurance companies can't deny you coverage because of a pre-existing condition. number two, which is a big deal if you have serious health problems. and number three -- [ laughter ] sorry. i thought i -- and number three, women can't be charged more than men. i thought i -- women can't be charged more than men for health insurance. and number four -- >> okay, let's take another question, this one comes from james carter. >> good evening, mr. trump. >> oh, no. >> my question is, do you believe you can be a devoted president to all people? >> that is a great question, denzel. thank you for this question about the inner cities. >> my name is james and i didn't ask anything about no inner cities. >> the inner cities are a mess, okay. just last month i was in detroit and everywhere i looked, there were violent crazy people and a lot of them had guns, and they were screaming horrible things like "trump for president. " >> i think you were at one of your own rallies. >> martha, this black man is attacking me. also, speaking of black men, do you know who else should be put in jail? hillary clinton. she's committed so many crimes. she's basically a black. >> secretary clinton, do you wish to respond to that? >> nah, i'm cool. because as my best friend michelle obama once said, when they go low, you go high! god i love that quote. almost as memorable as when i said "trumped up, trickle down economics. " just a couple of equally famous quotes from a couple of equally loveable women. >> okay, and now since everyone has been so good, it's time for a special treat. >> that's right. ladies and gentlemen, put your hands together, for the one, the only, mr. ken bone. ? ? y'all ready for this ? ? ? >> oh, my god, he is so cute. >> i really needed that right now. >> now, wait, ken, you're not going to turn out to be a weird little creep or anything, are you? >> maybe. >> god, we can't have anything nice. >> oh, well. well, we have time for one final question, and it comes from carl becker. >> good evening, my question is for hillary. tonight donald trump said you should be in jail, he said you have hate in your heart, and he followed you around the stage like a shark. so my question, what do you like about him? >> well, this one's actually easy. donald trump and i disagree on almost everything, but i do like how generous he is. just last friday, he handed me this election. >> mr. trump, one thing you like about secretary clinton? >> i like that she's a fighter and she doesn't give up, which is why i need all my supporters to get out and vote on election day. mark your calendars, write it down, here's the date, it's november 35th. and live from new york, it's saturday night!
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