Thanksgiving And Trump’s (Lack Of) Giving

President Trump is enjoying the season of giving by . . . trying to shut down his charitable organization.
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Caption: I'm your host, stephen colbert. tomorrow is thanksgiving!. and i'm so excited to reunite. with all my loved ones: pumpkin. pie, stuffing, sweatpants. ( laughter ). it's time for family. but even in the best of years,. political differences can make. things tense. and this is not the best of. years. so, if you're concerned about. conflicts over the dinner table,. watch how much you have to. drink. ( laughter ). i recommend either no drinks or . all of the drinks. ( laughter ). ( applause ) . it's really-- karate yes or. karate no. it's really that two-and-a-half-. drink middle ground where uncle. fred starts asking, "well, why. don't we have a white history. month " . ( laughter ) . to celebrate-- see you tomorrow,. uncle fred. to celebrate thanksgiving,. president trump has returned to. mar-a-lago, so i know what the. white house staff is thankful. for this year. mar-a-lago members are,. apparently, looking forward to. imagine a plump, overcooked. turkey waiting in. line for thanksgiving dinner. while trump is down there, he. may have some papers to sign. because we have just learned. that donald trump is shutting. down his charitable foundation. so sad. they had almost reached their. goal of helping anyone. ( laughter ). but the trump foundation is not . going away completely, because. the new york attorney general is. investigating the foundation,. and it cannot legally dissolve. until the investigation is. complete, same way the trump. administration can not be. dissolved until mueller's. investigation is complete. ( laughter ). ( cheers and applause ) . and recent filings shed light on. a sketchy incident involving the. trump foundation. see, back in 2010, trump's golf. club in westchester, new york,. held a charity tournament with a. $1 million prize for a hole in. one on the 13th hole. a man named martin greenberg. aced the hole. then, after a celebration, he. was told he couldn't claim the. prize because the rules said the. hole had to be a certain length,. and trump's club had made it too. short. wow. i feel terrible for the guy. can you imagine actually. winning, then finding out you. lost on a technicality . hillary clinton can. ( laughter ). ( applause ) . she doesn't play golf, right . she doesn't play golf . that's not the only controversy. trump is dealing with right now. there's been a lot of confusion. ever since his administration. announced that it would lift the. ban on elephant trophies being. imported from africa, then. suddenly that you reversed. course on that. the ban was put in place by the. obama administration, and as we. know, undoing all of obama's. achievements is donald trump's. only achievement. i think he paved over michelle's. vegetable garden and put up an. arby's. ( laughter ). trump's confusion might be . because he didn't even know. about his administration's. decision to lift the trophy ban. until learning it from the news. media. so let me get this straight:. trump's learning about his own. decisions from watching tv . in that case, mr. president,. guess what . you resigned. ( cheers and applause ). everybody loves you now. you lost weight!. children are named after you. but then trump pumped the brakes. on lifting the ban after a huge. public outcry because as one. environmentalist put it,. "there's something about. elephants that just crosses. party lines. they get to people. ". yes, everybody loves elephants. they're like the pandas of the. animal world. ( laughter ). by now-- now, i don't think i'm . giving away any secrets here to. say i'm not the biggest trump. fan in the world. but there are plenty of people. who will back the president, no. matter what he does, like this. trump supporter. >> if jesus christ gets down off. the cross and told me trump is. with russia, i would tell him,. "hold on a second. i need to check with the. president if it's true. ". >> stephen: first of. all,"first of all, jesus is. never going to get down off the. cross to say that, because he's. not on the cross. spoiler alert: easter. ( laughter ). ( cheers and applause ) . haven't got to that part-- don't. want to give away the end of the. story. but if he did, i'm sure the. president would tweet,. "jesus 'crust'-- flake-y-- was. lying as usual. fake messiah, turning water into. 'whine. '. #whatwouldmedo ". i think he would say that. i've got no proof. i've got no proof. now, before the thanksgiving. break, there was one final daily. briefing from white house press. secretary and mom who leaves the. thanksgiving pageant after her. kid is done singing, sarah. huckabee sanders. and in keeping with the spirit. of thanksgiving, she made. everyone in the room extremely. uncomfortable. >> i want to share a few things. that i'm thankful for, and i. think it would be nice for you. guys to do so, as well, before. asking your questions. if you want to ask a question, i. think it's only fair, since i've. shared what i'm thankful for,. that you start off with what. you're thankful for. >> stephen: ooh, i'm thankful. for robert mueller!. ( laughter ). ( applause ) . this is-- what is-- this is a. little heavy-handed. what's next . is jeff sessions going to. testify before congress dressed. as an elf . ( laughter ). "what's the true meaning of . christmas . i do not recall. ". .
 

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