Everything Wrong With Black Panther In 17 Minutes Or Less

Early in 2018, Marvel released Black Panther, which went on to smash records and delight audiences all over the globe. So naturally we went looking for sins in it. And we even managed to find a few.
Thursday: Sci-fi sequel sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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Millions of years ago a meteorite made . of vibranium exposition about a . meteorite meteors position exposition . right also the generation a meteorite . made of vibranium struck the continent . of africa affecting the plant life . around it yeah but just the plant life. of africa i mean wouldn't a meteorite . big enough to affect an entire continent . trained a lot of things over the world . until a warrior shaman received a vision . from the pen that god is best ooh with . what now led him to the heart shaped up . a plant that granted him superhuman . strength speed and instincts this planet . is basically jesus jesus the warrior . became king and the first black panther . roll kitties to keep the brainian safe . the wakandans vowed to hide in plain . sight. you know what condor has the same . problem as wonder woman's the mascara . you tell him either before klaw did his . heist not one asshole stumbled upon. wakanda by accident in all those years. yeah it's surrounded by mountains and . what looks like a rain forest but there . are still flying things like airplanes . right seas to grace jones looking chicks . funny joke but surrey is soon revealed . as being in on the whole undercover . operation so why would he continue the . subterfuge even after an joe who knows . he's caught this man ulysses klaw who . looks remarkably the same here is he . willing 26 years did you think that you . were the only spy we sent here to . oakland yeah totally to the united . states no i'm not that stupid point is . you have been too vague in your question . for my answer to matter at all yes it's . only 33 seconds of logos but it's all. just one logo and that's excessive the . tiny nation of wakanda is mourning the . death of its mana i know we need the . exposition for the people that didn't . see captain america civil war but. t'challa is seriously using his. incredible technology to watch bbc news . this opening action sequence is just way . too dark i can't even call the movie out . for bad staging or choppy editing. because i literally can't see anything . to ruin my mission i will be crowned . king tomorrow i wish for you to be there . wait nakia was on an undercover mission . to take down a group of human . traffickers and t'challa . get all up just so she could come to the . crowning ceremony i know it's important . it but more important than busting a . group of king human traffickers are . yourselves home. i'd take deploy what i really she . herself has to get back to wakanda for. the crowning tomorrow but our heroes are . literally turning to all these just now . release prisoners and saying kancare . yourselves oh there's no further . assistance you or wakanda can provide. believe it or not this glory shot at a . landscape with herds of animals running . near a body of water is the least over . lion king rip-off this movie has to . offer. i'm not saying something mighta deceased . that came to see me off before the . siblings immediately identify each other. as siblings anywhere else other than the . movies just something works doesn't mean . that it cannot be improved my dick in a . nutshell dude i don't care if it's his . precociously brilliant sister or not . cherie just flipped off the current . prince and future king of this country . in front of all these people with no . repercussions and in case you confused . it for london nebraska. i mean seriously does anyone meet the uk . part of this title card this is the most . london in london shot ever to london . where is this one far present-day ghana . well what about this one this eventual . reveal is predicated on the fact that . this museum refuses to use any . descriptive cards for their priceless. artifacts so how do they need the guise . of the paramedics there's no way the . room cleared that fast oh cool i guess . claws claw comes with a weapon polishing . setting okay so the water is being . drained ahead of the falls and all these . people are arriving by boat above the . falls so is there a staircase in these . rock faces do they all rappel down will . be definitely yada-yada is how everyone . actually gets to the very specific and . temporary location for the crowning. slash fight the cg on these swain people . is so bad the maker of weebles has. suited in civil court for copyright . infringement i'm super confused about . one thing how the throne of wakanda and . the title of black panther are seemingly . linked and yet definitely not linked . because he's been black panther for a . bit even before his dad died and now he . has to have his panther purple drank . powers medically removed in order to . fight for the honour of being king upon . which they will reap herbal drank his. ass and get his super powers back but he . wasn't king before now and still had . powers and was out there fighting he was. black panther estado in civil war did . his dad decide to stay king but give up . the panther juice to his son . goddammit i've written seven lines in a . word document about this and i'm still . angry about it but also now questioning . my sanity and whether or not i'm the . only one asking these questions . oh no one notice that the jabari tribe . was missing from this entire ceremony . before now i mean it makes for a . dramatic entrance but there definitely a . part of wakanda and this is a pretty . important de marmol look you should make . a spin-off horror series about mbaku and . the clay masks i don't know if it's the . double eyes or the double mouth or the. west-world worthy map carved into his . forehead but this is the most . frightening movie character i've seen in. years. scoffs i tried this on okay a few things . technological advancements should be. overseen by whoever makes them go. smoothly and rapidly what she is doing . second she's 17 going on 18 and almost . no decent english-speaking person would . call her a child 30 you've been up in . the mountains dude you don't get to come . down after i'm guessing decades and . start demanding you chose to leave and . live in seclusion forth and maybe most . simple don't all teenagers scoff a. tradition who could not keep his own . father safe low blow especially since he . and his father were way outside the . borders of wakanda where they can't . possibly control all variables that got . bombed and dude is making it seem like. the chocolate just refused to do the . heimlich maneuver on his choking father . lowered it to a hanuman wait who hanuman . feels like a sudden new name we are . giving glory prayers to baku had some. great trash talk before the fight but . what the hell does this have to do with . anything. character is close to death but is able . to come back because of an inspirational . shout from the audience cliche what the . hell is to charles plan here if when . baku doesn't yield his ass is definitely. going over the falls too even though he . was just gored with a super heavy spear . two challahs chest wound isn't bleeding . at all because we don't want to obscure . those beautiful abs right and so begins . the most annoying request of chadwick. boseman career just officially elected . king to chow asked to own to grow the . purple heart flower ceremony in order to . receive the black panther powers that he . had prior to this but apparently had to . give up after his dad died until he was . officially elected king or some point is. the half assed this from the get-go damn . this is a mcu movie right so why are the . effects often still lacking they . couldn't afford those wet assholes that. did the jungle book i know to chama has . security with him and everything but . nobody even looks at the king of wakanda . as he walks down a busy street let alone . ask for a selfie brought it to boston . still grey rhino shadowing my king my . love damn smokey has a lot of . expositional greetings and this movie. does enjoy spending lots of its time gee . whizzing it itself and what are these . question is the entire suit sits within . the teeth of the necklace man i love . this q style tech introduction of the . gadgets as much as anyone but the use of . vibranium totally bypasses explanation . of how all this was developed like it's . basically this is the greatest tech ever . invented yeah but vibranium forever in. my nights absorbed the kinetic energy . and hold it in place for redistribution . but really only in this movie you'll see . it an infinity warm but only in the wide. shots for some reason just sweep it back . and forth you probably could have saved . a lot of money by bypassing lupita . nyong'o in favor of willow smith for . this role i saw a medicus i know nokia's . a badass spy and all that but how they . can she tell that all three are . americans just by looking at them from . across the casino what i'm doing or not . doing on behalf of the us government is . none of your concern . i like martin freeman a lot i even have . a john watson and a bilbo baggins poster. up in my bedroom but could they really . not get an actual american actor to play . the warren american that's prominently . featured in this movie didn't i keep it . under wraps that the king of a . third-world country runs around and cats . him despite speaking in somewhat hushed . tones this super sensitive conversation . is easily haribol by anyone nearby the . king of wakanda is here ross is a. seasoned veteran of the cia but he . seriously still stalks into his sleeve . when communicating with his team in case . we didn't have enough clues about what. an evil prick klaw is he doubles down on . the parade of villainous black suvs true . you got a mixtape coming out actually . there is one i'll send you the . soundcloud link if you lock don't forget . to catch me on my institute and check . out my etsy yes how the hell does . useless henchmen number four know who a . koya is even if they're getting set up . it's not like they know exactly who be . with t'challa qualifiers three rounds. direct
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