My Netflix and No Chill Story

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My first and last adventure in Netflix and chill land.
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Stalk Me:
I got this friend lauren girl is super . gorgeous but we never taking it there . you know we were just friends we're . homies she's in her 20s she lives with . her mom her parents divorced because she . says her dad is like cuckoo for cocoa . puffs and some of you guys are in this . situation where you're out with your . other friends and they're always like yo . what's up with you and so-and-so like . that's me and lauren you know she's . super gorgeous but we're just homies so . one night look around one o'clock in the . morning i'm laying around in my. spongebob underwear yes that's important . to the story and i get this text from . lauren and she was like hey my mom went. out of town and i'm home alone can you . come over no i don't know about some of . y'all supermodels but it takes me like . hours to wash all this ugly off my face. so i'm not trying to go anywhere now any . normal functioning red-blooded human boy. but look at this text and be like go . down but me and lauren are just homies . right something about this work good . like four minutes and i haven't text . back yet and i think she could sense me . about to be like nah then she sends . another text saying just come over and . we can watch some netflix so now i'm . like. so now i'm in the core at one 300 am . driving to this girl's house pull up in . her driveway we're on her couch watching . netflix and i know nothing's goin down . cuz we're homies all of a sudden her dog . runs to the glass patio door and starts . free it's not like that regular barking . it's that deep something's going on out . here barking right but she's got a fence. so i'm assuming ain't nobody back there . some raccoon or something just jumped . whatever . she opens up the blinds nothing's back . there she closes the blinds comes back . over to the couch we finished watching . the movie so the movie ends i look at my . phone it's 4:00 a. m. it's time to go . lauren i am how she's kind of sleepy so . we stand we hug i walk myself to the . front door open it and there's a truck . in the street parked blocking my car in . the driveway uh there's a white truck . out here blocking my core mmm oh my god . it's my dad there is a very crucial part . of the story that i intentionally left . out remember that part earlier when i . was like yeah her parents divorce cuz . her dad is cuckoo for cocoa puffs . laurens told me stories about her dad . and her parents and why they broke up . she says her dad can be very irrational . super controlling like tracks are on gps . he's a gun fanatic and he's racist so my . first question to lauren is do you think . he has his gun on him . he definitely has his gun on him oh okay . this is how i die . i could've been home having a romantic . dinner for one and my spongebob tighty . whities watching pll but no okay lauren . here's what needs stopping you need to . go outside and tell me move his car i'm . not gonna go out there he'll kill me . meet up what do you think he's gonna do . to me so 30 seconds later she goes . outside and starts talking to him guys . i am totally defenseless i got no form . of protection . on me i give it a good like three . minutes i peek through the window to . check the situated at has moved his . truck forward a little bit it's now or . never. i go to step two or the door but my feet . don't want to move like survival . instincts kick in . don't try to get - i'm like you come . this you ain't going out like no punk . you got this i kick open the door boom . what kind of our back and i start . walking to my car you're almost there . just a few steps away so i'm halfway to . my car and then her dad goes hey what's . your name a donde gg gotta go bye once i . get in that car my car looked like the . delorean i'd be ended back to the future. cuz i flew out of there needless to say . me and lauren haven't hung out since . this night and - any of you girls who . ever hit me up in the future talking . about them come over and watch a movie . when i pull up in your spot with a full . tactical gear in the rocket launcher on . deck don't be looking all composed do we . get the million dollars if we win . there's this up-and-coming player ninja . he's. .
Tags:  adande  swoozie  my  netflix  and  no  chill  story 

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Category: Film

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