Tiffany Haddish Killed an Old Man by Dancing on Him at a Bar Mitzvah

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Tiffany Haddish shares a story from her memoir, The Last Black Unicorn, about her days as a bar mitzvah "energy producer" and the time her booty-popping dance moves actually killed an old man during a party.
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Tiffany Haddish Killed an Old Man by Dancing on Him at a Bar Mitzvah
-congrats on the book. -thank you. -this is. "the last black unicorn. ". [ cheers and applause ]. very personal, very funny. really, read this front to back. you will laugh. there is a story in here. about you at a bar mitzvah. do you know. what i'm talking about . -yes, i do know. what you're talking about. -i couldn't believe -- i didn't. know where it was going. were you, like, a hype man. for a bar mi--. -i was the energy producer. my title is energy producer. my job is to produce energy. i get the party hype. see what i'm saying . the party be right here,. i bring it up to there!. [ laughter ]. like, the party be, like,. everybody chillin',. like, just,. "yeah, we're eating. ". i'm like, "get up!. put them lox down!. it's time to dance!. mazel tov!". -[ laughs ]. -mazel tov. -"l'chaim!" yes. -mazel tov. -yeah. ?? hava nagila ??. ?? hava nagila, hava ??. [ audience clapping. rhythmically ]. -all right. yeah. really. -yeah, i turned it up. -so you're an energy producer. -yeah, i was an energy producer. -energy producer. -yeah, yeah. so you produced energy. -i produced energy,. so i might tell jokes, i emcee,. i'd get choreographed routines,. like, get the party --. just get the party going. 'cause, you know, it's teenagers. and, like, old people,. and you try to get them all. to come together. and dance and party. -all right. -which is difficult. -so, yeah, but you --. -but i did it. i got --. i toured the whole country. doing it. -you did . -yeah. yeah, the whole country. i was killing it. -so, you're at one. in particular. -yeah, oh, so i was at this one. party in particular. where there was. an older gentleman --. he had to be, like,. in his 80s or whatever --. and i got up and said,. "come on, grandpa! let's dance!". and i grabbed him by his tie. and we were dancing and stuff. and having a good time. and then i decided. to turn it around on him. and drop it like it's hot,. give him that booty action. you know . and you just like, "bop-bop!". -oh, all right. all right, all right, all right. [ laughter ]. how old was this gentleman . -he had to be in his 80s. and i'm dancing, i'm dancing,. he's smiling and everything,. and i turned around on him. and i'm dancing. i look at the people's face. in front of me,. and their faces were going. like this, and then went. [ laughter ]. and i was like, "what ". and i turned around,. and he was on the ground. on his back. and i was like, "oh, shoot!". like --. they were trying to, like,. revive him. they ended up taking him. to the hospital, and. [ sighs ]. . he passed away. [ audience gasps, laughs ]. [ sad tuba notes play ]. and i was like --. i didn't want to dance no more. i felt like this ass. is deadly, you know . [ laughter ]. [ cheers and applause ]. i -- my moves are killer,. i got killer moves, you know . so i didn't dance for months. and then my boss is trying. to get me back out there. he's like, "come on, tiff. come on. ". i'm like, "i can't do it. and then i got a letter. from the guy's daughter,. saying, like,. "thank you so much. ". like, that's the happiest. they had seen him. they hadn't seen him have. that much fun. or smile that much in so long,. and they sent me a little tip,. like, a check with a tip,. and i was like,. "well, i guess i got to get. back on the floor again. ". [ laughter ]. "i'm bringing joy. ". -and you're bringing. joy to the world. -yeah, yeah, yeah. so another six years after that,. i kept dancing. you know, i was killing it. i did it 11 years total. -man, oh, man. -yeah, there's probably a lot. of video footage of me. just killin' it at the mitzvahs. -man, you got to put. the time in. killin' it at the mitzvah. -"killin' it at the mitzvah. ". that's a movie. -"killin' it at the mitzvahs". is a movie, yeah. i got to say, "girls trip,". you were unbelievable,. i mean, with a great cast. [ cheers and applause ]. latifah was on the show,. and she said to me, "dude,. write her name down --. tiffany haddish. wait till. you see what this girl is. she's unbelievable. if you don't. know her, write her name down. she's going to be" --. and i was like, "okay, okay. ". and man, oh, man, was she right. you are just killing it. -thank you. -you are fantastic. -thank you. -love you. -thank you. thank you. -everyone loves you. -i mean, latifah and jada. and regina,. they made it such an awesome. work environment. where they just allowed me. to be me. we all were, like,. pretty much ourselves. and just really having fun. and those women are the best. co-workers i've ever had. like, they are amazing women,. and they allowed me. to be myself. they wasn't haters or nothing. like, they was --. latifah was always like,. "go, tiffany, go for it. go. ". i was like, "you sure . you think i'ma get in trouble ". she like, "just do that [bleep]. [ laughter ]. -yeah, man. you more than held. your own, man. you were great. -yeah. -and now, "the last o. g. ,". biggest in the history. of comedy on tbs ever,. in the history of the network. -wow. -well done. not bad, pal. -well, you know --. [ cheers and applause ]. -[ imitates punches landing ]. unh! unh! unh!. -my goal in life is. to make history. you know, i always wanted to be. the first black woman. to do something,. and i'm, like,. killin' that right now. -[ laughs ]. you are. definitely. you are definitely, man. how is our pal tracy morgan . i mean, he's --. -he's awesome. -he's the best, man. -he's, like, always trying. to give me advice. -yeah. -"tiffany, listen to me. you know i change your life. okay . i'll change it. ". [ laughter ]. you know what tracy's. always telling me . he like, "girl, you getting. on my last nerve. i'ma mess around and get. somebody to get you pregnant. so you calm down. ". [ laughter ]. -he said that to me. he said that to me, too. yeah, yeah. he says it to me all the time. -"calm down. ". -"jim. ". he always call-- "jim. ". -"jim. ". -jim. -yeah. -he's the best. the idea of the show is funny. it's basically, he grew up in. bed-stuy brooklyn,. he goes to jail,. and he comes back to brooklyn,. and now it's what it is now,. kind of. -yeah. it's different. -[ as sara ] it's different now. -yeah. -and, uh, it's not. the brooklyn he once knew. -yeah. -who has the kombucha . -[ effeminate voice ]. who has the kombucha . guess which one's the best. kombucha . -we're eating seaweed now!. -they're both good!. they're both good. -yes!. -i made artisanal pickles. -[ laughing ] yes. -[ normal voice ] um. -what is kombucha . -oh, i tried it once. i don't know what it is. it's like. -old-ass tea . [ laughter ]. -yes. it's old-ass tea. -it tastes like old tea. with soda in it. like, who put sprite. in this old-ass tea . -no, i --. i want to show a clip. here's tiffany haddish [laughs]. tracy morgan in "the last o. g. ". airs tuesday nights. at 10:30 on tbs. check this out, please. oh, my goodness. -what do you want . -i'm just saying hello. -tray, stop calling me. -when can i meet the kids, shay . -you want to see the kids . my kids . -our kids. -oh, i don't know. how about when you get a job. or volunteer. at a community center . something. in other words,. make something of yourself. all the adults in my kids' lives. are positive role models,. and i very much want. to keep it that way. -so it would probably. be a waste of time. to ask you to show your booty. on camera, huh . -boy. -shay, wait a minute. -get off my phone!. -oh, my gosh. tiffany haddish!. [ cheers and applause ]. .
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Category: Comedy

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