Everything Wrong With Daddy’s Home In 14 Minutes Or Less

Well last week we sinned Bad Moms and called it one of the laziest comedies ever. Then comes along this piece of crap. I guess you laugh at this movie... if you've lost the ability to groan.
Next week: Recent action sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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[music]. forty-eight seconds of logos for a . goddamn mainstream comedy with two huge . stars you had to get multiple production . companies together to get this made i've . always wanted to be a dad man i'm sure. glad this wacky comedy about a family . conflict starts out with some helpful . narration because otherwise i'd be. fuckin lost and i love my ford flex . jesus christ movie weights 1 minute 13 . seconds before sucking a product. placement and it deep throats that don't . be tickle it or nothin . i love how you drew my hair i'm guessing. it's dog poop homeless man poop movie . restrains itself for almost two and a . half minutes before finally releasing. its first poop reference i hope it . didn't pop a blood vessel . you couldn't find the good and just . about anything sarah accidentally . explains why will ferrell signed on for . this movie i know this is supposed to . show how much these kids hate brad but . shouldn't someone at the school have . noticed this pathological behavior it's . not like they're just showing him debt . there's a disturbing variety and how he. dies was that weird first-ever . stepfather and son talk and this guy has . to ask if taking a picture mit talk is . weird you know movie there are ways to . play they're not used to being a father . angle without veering into not used to . being human territory . brad's registering shop not that dusty's . calling but that this house still has a . landline in 2015 okay yeah my credit . score is 752 i'm sorry what sort of . fighting styles am i proficient in sure . this is played for laughs but what do . you either these things have to do with . the other this dusty want to fight brad . or steal his identity wild he's crazy . then you end up with two kids yeah i'm . stuck there holding the bag and he's . nowhere to be found and sarah waited to . give brad this very basic information . until just this moment how did this. asshole ever get past the initial . audition phase hey you guys see i know . dusty is attractive and but there are. dozens of people walking around here why . does brad know immediately that it's him . and a callen saki kawasaki 9 even the . step kid should be calling him out on . this bull the movie needs it to lead . into she get on a man come on hilarious . action sequence later so no one says. anything holy even for a lakers fan this . is overkill or when fletcher didn't even . have this much swag the king . stop he missed a bad looby expects me to . believe that in a house this large the . boy and girl children have to share a . bedroom. it makes for neat conversations like. this but isn't at all the way this . family's bedroom layout would unfold i . guess they're squeezing both kids into a . single bedroom so they can use the other . four bedrooms in the house for like man . caves and scrapbooking rooms this family . apparently recreated the nirvana . nevermind cover with one of their kids . one day at a pool you have no idea who . you're dancing with dusty gets into your. head that's what he does and this movie . sure does set sara up to be a wet . blanket with the sight of emasculation a . peppering of magnitude and a soupçon . helpfulness it's so refreshing to see a . woman written in such a nuanced way. comedies rely on stretching the . believable to unbelievable places a new . stepdad that wants to do right by a step . kids and their father believable that . father moving in and getting the kids a . dog but still being accepted by the . stepdad unbelievable this movie dances . all over that line so much you'll give . up and just accept anything eventually . [applause]. the more i watch this movie in the more . i'm convinced that sara's the primary . antagonist because she does nothing but . exacerbate the situation besides you . know what happens old dogs his shelters . he's gonna have to walk the green mile. why is he yes sir how the these kids . know what the green mile is goddamn . considering how earlier the first poop. joke came in i guess it's a minor. miracle that we've lasted this long . until the second mark wahlberg's in . terrific shape in his mid-40s here do we . have to get a reference to him not . wearing a shirt in every concomitant see . this is only funny on snl or som this . movie is so far presented itself as part. of reality and this embedding of a . person through a wall is more indicative . of cartoon violence this vehicle takes . the kids to school and others but not . being pulled over by the cops for being . half smashed and not roadworthy 103 . points. damnit this movies trying to rock star . me into thinking mark wahlberg can . actually sing when i know from the funky . bunch days that he definitely cannot i . worked in radio for years snowiest would . be hired for his jingle singing and said . jingle would be recorded mix produced . and start airing that day the paperwork . alone would take a week and a half . he started i just think it's it feels . wrong why because he's black . well yes that is what he means but how . do you know that guy's black you . literally just walked in and the dude is . already back in the room working . upstairs please allow me to pay you for . your time and travel don't do me any . favors paula deen wow what an incredibly . general reference that i'm positive will . stand the test of time to buy all the . gear we need what calls mona just hire . someone else angie's list hmm definite . angie's list brought up placement here . but it just feels weird not to mention . kraig and his list as well in the king . he thought the steph king seemed okay at . first a little soft maybe this kind of . is all the movie has going for it . literally take turns trying to convince . the kids which dad is best super . original such creativity honey listen . seriously the only character traits . listed for sarah must have been clueless. oblivious and birth to children i know . brad's trying to show dusty up here but . where the hell are the actual aquarium . guides for the field trip and when has . any presentation ever elicited. spontaneous applause from elementary. school students come on brad could have . moved one king step to the left or right . to avoid this cheap gag its jokes like . this that made the movie-going public. firmly reject this stupid garbage and . ensure there would definitely never be a . sequel i've seriously seen better cgi on . saturday morning shows on the christian. broadcasting network okay so a . skateboard is so old it has dust on it . gotcha but he's supposed to be a . relatively recent stepdad he would have . moved that old a skateboard into the . closet what eight months ago okay i . guess we should all selectively turn our. brains off and laugh hysterically when. something magical happens in this. otherwise reality-based comedy yep they . can afford a house this nice in this. neighborhood which surely has hoa rules . about smashed suvs in the driveway but . they cannot afford to fix the suv i . always had to be the bad guy mom giving . out the carrots and the punishments wait . carrots aren't punishments didn't she . mean handing out the carrots as the . punishments why does this household keep . eggs in the fridge in two different . spots and why did they refrigerate these . for hormel microwavable meals check . books buddy almost everything is solved. by violence now sara's just outright . agreeing with everything her ex-husband. says in addition to being totally . unhelpful to her new husband jesus not . to mention how wrong the things she's . casually agreeing with is if i had a dad . like dusty when i was your age maybe he . could have taught me how to stand up for . myself this line caused john lithgow to . immediately jump up from his couch and . submit his name for the sequel in order . to defend brad's father's honor dr. emilio francisco you heard of him oh my . god yeah he's been on dr. oz like 10 . times in a world where dr. phil and dr. oz are treated as factual as a textbook . we could just try right right sarah . becomes immediately fuckin baby crazy at . the first mention of the fertility . doctor even though she's done very . little parenting in this movie what is . it with this fucking character is he . wearing right now a lounge chair design . accidentally printed onto a shirt a . combination shirt condom jeremy scott . design eaten and vomited out by barney . also the bud light is strong with the . scene oh wow apparently this movies set . in new orleans which you could totally . tell by the cultural diversity and . vibrant environment hey dusty hey why is . he coming here better question why was . he lingering just outside the door even . better question why was the testicle . examination room door wide open hmm what . she so can impress by she's obviously . seen this at least twice before movie . joins boogie nights and perpetuating the . myth that mark wahlberg has a giant dick . i'm afraid to record i don't think kid . came to play wait why is he encouraging . dusty to produce an exorbitant amount of . semen i know this is an unconventional . doctrine but is there a reason for this . besides getting in yet another lazy . bodily fluid joe daddy's home treads . boldly into territory already charted by . a dozen better comedies jerking off at . the fertility clinic. i bet the pitch for this movie was . literally will ferrel jerks off at a . clinic oh and marky mark has a huge . penis. jesus-tap-dancing-christ this is some of . the laziest comedy writing since . hangover 3 how difficult would it be for . someone to whip up a batch of your . cinnabons. between the dialog and the computer . screen the scene just earned the coveted . jeremy gives you the middle finger award . for a cheers sellout ness also brad . loves that classic never mind photos so . much that he's also got it in his office . dylan you have created right down the . hall like the great wall of china is way . too fucking touristy and over visited . fo
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