Everything Wrong With Ratatouille In 15 Minutes Or Less

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With the impending release of The Incredibles 2, we decided it was finally time to go looking for sins in the last Brad Bird Pixar film, Ratatouille. It's about a rat chef, but it's also really excellent, but also full of sins.
Thursday: Animated sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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We french know the truth the best food . in the world is met in homs franco . philic propaganda is scored by an . overture about russia's victory over the . french army confused yet also animal . narration first of all i'm a rat which . means life is hard that's rat system i . have a highly developed sense of taste . and smell but what is it that led to . remy's nose being so good it can't be . his love of food alone it has to be a . genetic reason or explanation right . turns out that funny smell was rat . poison suddenly dad didn't think my . talent was useless i agree that it was . sudden it was only 30 seconds ago that . you were telling me about your talent . and your dad not respecting it now here . we are and yes that was fast we gotta . cook this now exactly how we cook this . is the real question. where are the rats only hanging around . this warm house is it really enough to . sustain an entire colony how the hell is . this one elderly woman producing so much . garbage you think that maybe we . shouldn't be so mother nature goes could . easily and these rats get blasted off a . roof and into the plot propelling. situation also holy they survived that . she's gonna wake up these guys tasted a . thing and then decided it needed only . saffron to be perfect then realized this . lady had saffron i think then decided to . steal her saffron so they could. experience the perfect bite and honestly . this convoluted reasoning is flimsier . than most bugs bunny cartoons you read . not sure if i should be more shocked at . remy reading or the brother only just . now realizing remy can read or even. knowing what reading is and the duck a . hot head chef died shortly afterwards he . got his first bad review then literally . died from it how sensitive was this dude. i've gotten hundreds of thousands of bad. reviews a few dozen hate mails and two . separate hand-drawn maps leading me to . dangerous locations but none of them has . caused me to die as sadness somehow . pulling the trigger on this gun opens . the umbrella that's stuck in the barrel . because movie frequently forgets out of . physics also seriously the sight of a . couple rats causes granny to immediately . reach for the shotgun she'd rather . destroy her house at a rain of fire than . say grab a broom . dan this old lady gun stores more . impossible shells than an action movie. villain. if these rats were all living in this . woman's attic before now that was not . made clear so remy felt his dish needed . saffron and he robbed the old lady's . house for which caused a chain reaction . that led to the entire rat clan being . washed away all the way to paris and . none of that has ever addressed again . the movie wanted to get everyone to . paris and decided to show it to us but . it meant nothing no one is mad at remy . when they meet up later on . everyone adjusts fine to paris i suppose . the old lady was snatched up by the e . u--'s version of medicaid and was . probably lost or killed via negligence . but this whole opening is pretty . meaningless how the hell is that book . readable after taking that long-ass trip . in the storm sewer my copy of fifty . shades of grey was ruined after i walked . through the ring for one block holy did . movie just seriously yada-yada this . confrontation at gunpoint. is this a regular occurrence in paris . man francis weird the sequence of the . camera following remy as he explores. paris is awesome really worthy of a sin . removal but it makes me wonder how the . hell remy knows exactly where to go at . all times when i'm ever stopping to see . which way to turn all this time. underneath harris movie inadvertently . writes the most salacious gilmore girls . fan fiction ever also luckily for remy . on the plot he emerged directly on a . perfect view of the city to confirm his . location i mean it's better than an . obvious title card but still to stowe's . you've led me to your restaurant . lottery odds i mean here is a rat that . loves gusteau's cookbooks and suddenly . finds himself swept into paris and right. to the doorstep of gusteau's and this is . so unrealistic that justice league must . a scheme sent a congratulatory fruit. basket i was my mother she died that's . right kids we've killed off two. characters in the first 20 minutes of . this movie jesus even died hard didn't . have this body count so soon you've read . my book left to see how much you know . huh . which one easy shape this entire scene . of remy identifying all the various . kitchen workers all very important is. purely expositional later on this ghost . is gonna tell remy he's not real and . remy is talking to himself so he's just . proving to himself here how smart he is . but mostly he's letting the audience . know movie notwithstanding it takes a . kitchen full of employees ignoring an. entire station for several minutes in . order for this magical plot propelling . soup to even begin to get made in the . first place which is even more damning . since remy pointed out that this was a . saucier his workstation where does . saucier go huh extended cigarette break . no wait this is france also linguini . grabs this piping hot pot of soup with . no ill effects i guess he does have . talent in the kitchen i mean i could say . this at virtually any point in this . movie. but how do all these assholes not notice . this obvious rat and a scene gets . dangerously close to a bad tom and jerry . episode some rat dude all and queenie . did was add some water garlic and leeks . to the soup so why is it immediately . nauseating without so this act is . meaningless even more so for rats than . humans rats carry the plague guys he . dumps that entire container of broth . into his soup without any spills or . issues even though the movie already . showed this soup was nearing the top of . its container and would definitely . overflow if a gallon of broth were . poured on it. what are you playing act i'd like to . point out that this guy is basically the . primary villain in this movie but even . he just immediately admits and accepts . at this soup is wrath and a true asshole . would have called it disgusting and. refused to ever let lin greene cook . again instead this guy knows the super . rules but he can't accept the fact that . linguini cooked it because he didn't . this guy gets a bad rap i'm sending this . movie for not making this villain more . villainy also i'm pretty sure a simple . security camera would solve almost all . this movies conflict saucier would get . fired for abandoning his station and . linguini would keep his job as garbage . boy once everyone saw the rat was the . one that messed with the soup done and . done. this is a modern movie right and one of . the most famous high-end expensive . restaurants in paris but no cameras not . even to safeguard the expensive wines. and other high-end ingredients . responsibly . i guess linguini trained at the esteemed . mario batali culinary school it's this . how you keep a restaurant at four stars . there's literally only a swinging . dumbledore separating you and the . customers and you are screaming wait . when did he punch a triangular air hole . in this lid and why and does he just . carry a can opener on his person at all . times have you been nodding . remi can understand english but he can't . speak and we're all speaking english . even though were in paris movie . yada-yada is over the solution to the . language barrier here so hard that even . six-year-olds came out asking their . parents what the hell was going on i . can't cook. canha awesome so we've immediately . undermined the central premise of the. movie by determining our secondary . protagonist is unable to do what gusto . says anyone can do hey they like the . soap they like the soup . linguini fell into the goddamn seine . river survived it found the jar that . remi was in rescued him and climbed out . of the seine in record time why can't we . see that story this uncoordinated asshat . keeps losing jobs and can't do anything. and has no money and lives . this tiny cramped apartment and you. expect me to believe he takes up . valuable kitchen shelf space with a . goddamn soccer ball okay back the beep . beep beep this whole apartment has this . view and this failure of a citizen can . afford it good thing they both got a . good night's sleep last night instead of . trying to figure out any sort of plan . for pulling off the ruse today we ate . the soup take as much time as you need . oh we couldn't skinner just a man the . recipe or if he wanted to keep linguini . honest wouldn't just stand here and . watch him make it this is the culinary . version of a bond villain leaving him to . die without doing it himself . no one overhears linguini screaming at . the top of his lungs about the rat he . brought into the restaurant and before . you say that he's in the walk-in and it . would be soundproof i'll remind you the . jack torrance was able to easily . communicate with multiple people outside . of it in the shiny i'm just . familiarizing myself with vegetables. what'd i get you know this is actually a . pretty good adult joke suddenly thrown . into a kid's movie but it also means . that at some point skinner definitely . stuck a cucumber up his ass the whole . rest of the movie kind of hinges on this . but this is a bullet if something . suddenly pulled two strands of your hair . the last thing you would do is raise . both arms in unison with said hair . strands this takes so long to learn i'm . surprised it's not snowing outside . already fun gratulations you were able . to repeat your accidental success this . is verbatim what my college girlfriend . said to me after our second time having. sex. gusto makes chinese bored gi i haven't . seen marketing this blatantly racist. since h&m s last campaign also i never . understood this just because he became. head chef at this restaurant and even if . he owns the restaura
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