Everything Wrong With Thor Ragnarok In 15 Minutes Or Less

Thor: Ragnarok. It's a movie that most everyone enjoyed, for good reason. It's funny as hell. But it still has sins... all movies do.
Thursday: Recent-ish horror sins.
Remember, no movie is without sin! Which movie's sins should we expose next?!
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41 seconds of logos you know what this . disney fox merger goes through there's a . good chance it's going to result in even . longer opening logo sequences with even . more logos per film that's gonna suck i . don't know what you're thinking oh no . falls in a cage how did this happen for . asian i met you someone get this . skeleton an agent because it has . tremendous dramatic timing oh son of . odin holy that's clancy brown things . just got about a hundred times more . parallax up in this joint also this is . what happens when you open up your . superhero cinematic universe to aliens . gets wonky and cartoony in a hurry . just ask steppenwolf who incidentally is . also a giant on fire alien monster i . cannot die not until i fulfill my . destiny and lay waste to your own what i . should be destiny for him and everyone . else . he's like an intergalactic air b&b . nightmare and you have seen ragnarok the . full of as god ragnar roll credits the . great prophecy prophecies also great . prophecies movies oh we'll burn this . entire opening scene is villain . monologuing done to the extreme not that. you're off your head and stashing away . nascar's fault. right next to the thing this guy wants . needs to combine it with are you crazy . hammer porn though i'd caution you not . to search a real porn website for hammer . porn unless you like smash books and . improvised dildos why not start with . that when i wasted the 25 seconds . individually smashing enemies if you can . do this. did he just like level up or something . waffle thoroughly beat surtur's ass here . i'm wondering what was the point of . keeping thor prisoner why not just kill . him wouldn't that probably be an . important step in fulfilling the . prophecy the certain aura that thor will . make the right decision to put his horns . on the eternal flame later the odin . charged honda with negligence of duty by . he disappeared before the trial . goddamn scourge do you ever stop x+ you . were literally telling those girls plot . stuff before thor arrived and now you're . telling him pot stuff i'm supposed to . announce your royal daf dude there is no . point in jogging to the city to arrive . 10 minutes after thor like you've . accomplished something also note to . asgard invest in intercoms and or radios . or shorter bridges i'm sorry about this . thing with the tesseract between this . eurotrip jay and silent bob strike back . finding forrester and entourage i'm . thinking matt damon has a shot at the . best collection of cameos a war that . doesn't exist do me a favor lock this . away in the vault so it doesn't turn . into a giant monster and destroy the . whole planet the one thing that can . fulfill the prophecy of surtur changing. into mechagodzilla is kept in the only . place where it can cause harm this is . like if you buried parallax in the pet . cemetery also planet planet at the end . of this thing we will see your entire . civilization as a city floating through . space on a jagged rock it's a comet or . an asteroid way before it's a fucking . planet the male and female actors behind . thor here are associate faking . conversation so important you would . ignore the first appearance by thor . nears that i'm wondering if they want a . contest to appear in this scene that one . job just the one that's true . but also thor can fly which can't really. be this guy's fault kenneth if you were . worried about thor returning to asgard. without you knowing it you should have . picked a better hero alive it's why in . general you can never take death . seriously in these movies big dramatic . death scenes turn into parody plays . starring matt damon and you don't have a . phone no i don't have a phone but you . could have sent a electronic letter it's . called an email while this banter is . pretty funny you've got to think doctor . strange has ways of communicating that . don't involve phones or emails look at . this place it's beautiful wow norway it . looks fake --is-- no i've stopped . ragnarok i put it in too sir . it's already begun she's coming odin who . is thousands of years old plays the . pronoun. so that thor has to ask who the hell she. is kind of suggests hello no sister . how does open have a daughter that he's . kept secret all this time and while he . admitted he screwed up by not telling . thor about her and what she can do this . sounds more like the type of thing where . the character of odin didn't know about . her either. until the script for this movie was . written couldn't stop it so i'm prisons . uh isn't that virtually the same thing . what a crazy universe we live in when . someone can imprison a person with magic . but can't stop that person with the same . magic i mean say so to move on i'm on a . different path now this you must face . alone well thanks dad you created this . mess by your own admission and then you . waited until you were this close to . death to even tell us about it goddamn . space catwoman is hot okay so if hellas. power is drawn from asgard how is she. able to do this on earth . odin told us her powers would be . limitless on asgard so how is this not . already limitless this not possible . why did hemsworth decide to channel . chatter for this scene i have it on good . authority that this group started out as . maleficent too and this is the only . thing that survived from the first draft . to mythical beings will now resort to . punching each other while flying through . a wormhole. that's what einstein would have wanted . ludi casually kills a couple of thor's . buddies and it should be a lot more . meaningful to us because of what they . mean to thor but it simply is thor crash . lands on a planet full of trash and tell . me this isn't the same place where the. transformers found themselves and the . transformers the movie we're about to . hear dare to be stupid during a fight . scene early the player ragnarok some are . all this mrs. thor . it's kind of crazy how little this movie . has to do with ragnarok it's like a side . quest that you play in a thor . rpg if you had the time when we last saw . hello she was at the bifrost gate and . had killed two people . now she's deep into the city surrounded . by a giant army of asgardians what . exactly transpired where she walked from. one end of the city to the other and . through this kind of an audience without . the army trying to attack her. immediately i thought you'd be happy to . say me maybe give them i don't know any . kind of proof that you're actually . odin's offspring and maybe they'll come . around you just said something now you . seem shocked no one believed you what is. even the point here she defeated and . banished thor and loki with ten percent . of the effort she's putting forth here . dispatching the generic asgardian army. can't she just do something that doesn't . make this movie over two hours long the . answer is sekar it's awfully nice for . this planet to have the infrastructure . to put prisoners through a virtual . epcot center ride that gives them all . the details they need to know about the . planet they're on it is the collection . point for . lost and unloved things not true because . i see neither my college temple of the . dog cd nor my college self one of which . was lost and one of which was unloved so . the rumors are true every 20 years or so . jeff goldblum emerges from his. hibernation to feed mate appear in . movies and become a big deal for three . to four years before going back into the . ground in 20 more years he'll be in the . avengers infinity star wars and be the . priest at the han solo peter quill . wedding you don't need to be afraid . unless you made of scissors see just a . little ruck papers as a joke for you in . space way out in space they still do . rock-paper-scissors how'd you end up . here . oh well i tried to start a revolution . but didn't print enough pamphlets so . hardly anyone turned up there's no one . been taught oh . history you've been banished for decades. but you finally come home expect the . society that banished you to have taught . your story to impressionable kids . scourge somehow avoids getting his head . smashed in by all that ceiling that just . crashed down with the eternal flame you . are reborn that's exactly what this . person who has so much power she can . take out an entire army by herself needs . an army also this eternal flame has a . ton of uses doesn't it it's our sirte . will become a huge colossus when he puts. his horns in it and it can raise an army . of the undead it's one of those weird . elements and movies that do whatever you . need it to do at a moment's notice it's . so useful it makes you wonder why hasn't . been used until now oh green glowing . army of the dead and cate blanchett . but lord of the rings similarity well . this movie think up next movie . soundtrack briefly thinks it's running. underneath the blade runner sequel the . grand master created this place to be . whatever he wanted it to be so why did . he create a world where the sheet . glitchy hologram exists chris hemsworth. is way way better looking than me . [applause]. [music]. [applause]. it's always pretty funny isn't it . yeah i took it off this planet okay haha . we all remember what hulk did to loki in . the avengers but he's been here for . weeks and he's in good standing with the . grandmaster so how does he not know the . hulk is here after weeks of being on . this planet he would have at least been . given the description of this guy right . oh then i never thought i would say this . but i i'm happy to see you you've . definitely know better than to adress . hulka's banner or to think one can . influence the other alright this is what . we've been waiting for hulk vs thor we . haven't seen this ever except in the . first avengers on the airship and thor . had his hammer folks should probably . make quick work of thor under those. circumstances since it was ess
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