Film Theory: The Cost of Disney’s DARKEST Business!! (Pinocchio)

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We've always know Disney had a dark side. But that's just movies - none of those scary things could happen in real life. Right? WRONG! Today we are looking at Pinocchio's Pleasure Island and the business model that would make it and it's child workers SUCCEED.
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Twitter: @MatPatGT
Okay so everyone always thinks about . pinocchio's nose because it's quite. literally right there in your face but . have you ever considered this in order . to keep standing pinocchio would need to . bend backwards significantly to balance. out the added weight of that branch and . eventually even the bird's nest at the . end but look . pinocchio isn't leaning back at all to . compensate which means that he must have . some kind of counterbalance growing in . his uh-oh . [music]. hello internet . welcome to film theory the show that has . no corporate strings to hold us down . which is why we get to talk about things . like child slavery and disney films . that's right today we're going all the . way back to that disney classic about . the exploitation of child laborers in . ochio now as a kid this movie just . really provided me with years worth of . nightmare fuel . i mean monstros mouth anyone children . turning into literal work mules it's . terrifying but looking back on it now . pinocchio actually raises a lot of. questions like did people really just . throw money during marionette shows like . some kind of puppet strip club if people . who go to pleasure island become . jackasses are the other animals that we . see throughout the movie also people . core are they're just animals who . actually do walk around as living . creatures what about this fox is awfully . human what about jiminy cricket we . haven't even gotten into the logistics . of literally lighting a fire inside a . whale sadly though all these questions . are gonna have to wait for another day . because today we are tackling everyone's . favorite subject business specifically . the business of pleasure island the . bizarro 1940s bad boys utopia today's . episode is all about the incredibly . scary reality that pleasure island as we . see it in the movie pinocchio could have. actually existed in real life i like to . call this episode how to succeed in . child slavery without really trying but . first a recap because i can't assume . that you guys have seen this pinocchio . is really old at this point i mean the . kids nowadays tangled is probably like . the furthest back they go and call it a . disney classic oh boy anyway this guy . name geppetto is a clock maker and a . vaguely european disney-esque country . around the turn of the century who makes . a marionette named pinocchio and then . wishes for him to become a real boy boy . the blue fairy comes down and grants his . wish but in a pure dick move only grants . the wish half way because apparently . fairies can just do that for the lols . i've given you life because . night geppetto wished for a real boy by . a real boy. no pinocchio so instead of pinocchio . becoming a real boy he instead becomes a. living puppet monster geppetto wakes up . sees that his marionette has come to. life and like anyone would do in this . situation . goes back to sleep the next morning . though he then shoves pinocchio out the. door saying hey you've existed for . hours now surely you can figure out . school right on the way pinocchio meets . two foxy swindlers honest john foul . fellow and gideon who proceeded to. swindle pinocchio several times and. doing multiple stupid things like . becoming an actor until finally leaving . with them to pleasure island along with . a horde of kidnapped children once . pinocchio and the small army of young . boys arrived at pleasure island did they . drink smok trash a mansion and destroy . all the rides so basically they become . the 1940s equivalent of team 10 every . day bro but every good vacation has to . come to an end and the boys start to . regret all that indulgence when they . start turning into literal dog games . it's revealed that the big scheme behind . the entirety of pleasure island is to . transform boys into donkeys who are then. sold off to work in salt mines while the . owners of pleasure island to make. themselves a hefty little profit or is . there actually a profit to be had here . at all this whole thing sounds so . ridiculous and far-fetched is there any . chance that kidnapping kids transforming . them into donkeys and then selling them . off to the highest bidder is actually a . profitable business venture i mean look . at this the kids destroy the amusement. park so should the owners of pleasure . island just scrap their half-assed plans . or i guess in this case fully asked . plans i just sell off the park to become . yet another six flags . no no they shouldn't child kidnapping . and donkey sales are actually . surprisingly profitable and i'm about to . show you how aren't disney episodes fun . so the first question is how much is a . donkey actually worth going by a coin . now dom's prices it seems like most . jackasses today sell between $500 and . $2,000 each unless of course you're an. mtv branded jackass in which case you're . worth two and a half million dollars . since our child jackasses are certainly . more intelligent than most will use the . $2,000 per jackass price range you are a . great talker you were like top dog since . pinocchio happens sometimes . around the late 1800s or early 1900s as . indicated by the ferris wheel first. introduced in 1893 we're gonna adjust . for inflation and estimate that each . donkey is selling for about seventy six . dollars in pinocchio's time and just how . many of these donkeys is the coachman . able to sell off in a batch well to . answer that we first need to know how . many little boys he's gotten himself a . bulldog . the best way to estimate the total . donkey load isn't actually to count the. boys at pleasure island but rather it's . to look at how they all got there this . mississippi style steamboat that . transports all the boys to the island . also tells us how many victims we're . gonna be looking at passenger river . boats of this size with three decks have . an absolute max capacity of 2150 five . people so given the coachman's . unscrupulous morals and lack safety . records i mean just look at the kids . falling between ferris wheel cars we can . assume that he's stuffing the maximum . number of kids onto this thing as . possible especially since children are . so much smaller than adults and these . boys aren't carrying any luggage so . we're gonna subtract a standard . people to account for the boat crew of a . steamer that large which leaves us with . room for a whopping 2105 young boys it's . truly a pretty horrifying level of evil. that's going on here in pleasure island . that's not even accounting for all the . rampant racism and underage smoking so . multiplying everything out we have 2100 . for donkeys wheat minus 1 because . pinocchio escapes $76 each gives us one . hundred and fifty nine thousand nine . hundred and four dollars which might not . seem like all that much but remember . this is money way back at the turn of . the century accounting for inflation the . coachmen is looking to net a whopping . four million two hundred eight thousand . dollars that's four million of twenty . eighteen dollars so things are looking . pretty good for the old coachman here . rights but the one thing that every . businessman will tell you is that before . you go walking off with your profits you . need to start calculating your overhead . and running pleasure island isn't a . simple operation so we need to factor in . the costs of two thousand boys drinking . themselves under the table while . destroying an entire amusement park as i . pointed out earlier in just one night a . boatload of boys managed to level. pleasure island into a desolate . hellscape it's like the world of fallout . what's worse than a nuclear apocalypse . aw just two thousand young rambunctious . boys lookin to scrap smoke and drink so . how much is it costing the coachman to . rebuild an entire amusement park every . time they bring one of these boatloads . over well initially i calculated out . every little piece of wood and every . glass pane broken in here but what i . found out was that most of the repairs . were actually just small items that. ultimately didn't make that big of a . difference on the bottom line at most we . were looking at about a thousand dollars . on tobacco which translates to about . thirty-eight old-timey dollars and about . two hundred inflation-adjusted dollars . to restock the destroyed mansion with . more old furniture for the boys to tear . apart both of those numbers not nearly . enough to hit the coachman's bottom line . the bigger ticket items though is where . they get you namely the rides if we're . running this business we're basically . gonna need to replace the ferris wheel . cars in the entirety of the carousel . which looks like the central axis has . actually been bent down the middle this . all begs a completely separate question. what kind of hell beasts are these . children i mean what would enable them . to even be able to try bending a . carousel in half and how many children . did it take to accomplish that sort of . thing or was it just one super kid maybe . some solid steel marionette who's also. on his way to becoming a real boy too . anyway these are the expensive things to . replace but when you actually run the . numbers they don't wind up being all . that expensive ferris wheels are . surprisingly cheap which is honestly . kind of scary to think about as you . dangle 40 feet in the air on one smaller . used ferris wheels cost as little as . fifteen thousand dollars back in 2008 . the santa monica ferris wheel was put on . sale on ebay for a mere $50,000 and it's . worth noting that that ferris wheel is . both large and famous which is jacking. up the cost so we're gonna assume that . the coachman isn't feeling too spendy . here and we'll go with that . estimate or 572 old timey adjusted . dollars still nothing that's even close . to making a dent into his total profits . now the carousel is gonna run you a bit . higher the cheapest option is from
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