Monologue: A Feckless Stunt | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

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Bill recaps the top stories of the week, including a scathing new Justice Department report, legal drama for the president's former lawyer, and Donald Trump's meeting with his new best friend.
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Caption: [applause]. [music]. i actually know why you're happy today. for real though because finally somebody . nice way ahead of me but you know what . i'm gonna say who was treated to this . country's actually in jail poor man . the law judge said they should lock him . up lock him up even worse news kim . kardashian is not taking his calls so is . he gonna get a part at this trump said . about man afraid he had nothing to do . with the campaign nothing to do with the . campaign yeah exactly you personally . brought him in you gave him the title. campaign chairman yeah that's just. that's just something we told him it . it's like when they told elvis he and a . black belt it wasn't really so much. happened this so much legal stuff . happened this week finally after 18 . months of working on this the the . justice department's inspector general. released his report on the fbi's actions . in the 2016 election trump said he. wanted to read the whole thing before . commenting i'm joking of course . it's 500 pages he gets bored halfway . through a fortune cookie the upshot of . it is that the fbi helped trump as we . all knew and trump made such a big deal. out of hillary's emails that comey . didn't want anyone to think that the fbi . was helping hillary and was on her side . so they rat-fucked her campaign you know . it's like when the wrath needs to show . that he's fair he shoots the hometown . quarterback in the mouth. and michael cohen did you hear this . trump fixer lauria whatever want to call . them. it's lap dog he's there saying i don't . know if this is true this thing he's . ready to cooperate with prosecutors i . hope that makes trump nervous i mean . michael cohen has given more money to . porn stars than charlie sheen took out a. restraining order on michael a vanetti . right wanting to stop appearing on . television the complaint i love this . says i'm a nanny is creating a circus . with his unquestioned question . unquenchable thirst for publicity. michael you do know you work for donald . trump that's good but and also listen to . this new york's attorney general has . filed a lawsuit trying to shut down . trump's family's phony charity . what they say is persistent illegal . conduct it was basically a slush fund. which they used as an arm of the . campaign they were funneling money to . some of the least deserving charities in . the world doctors without borders got a . real charity st. barts children's . hospital that's ridiculous. so with all these schedules you know . whose poll numbers are sinking like a . rock not donald trump's his are up. people who are sinking or anyone in the . republican party who crosses donald . trump remember mark sanford from south . carolina the guy who was hiking the . appalachian trail is really having an . affair with an argentinian woman he was . like in the appalachian trail all right. but you know he votes with trump. seventy-three percent of the time it . said a few critical thing . outs he didn't win his primary cuz he . had he survived he was reelected after . having sex with the argentinian woman . but trump banks porn stars right here in . the usa ladies and gentlemen one reason . trump's numbers are up of course he has. a new friend king jimmy jean i know it . seems like years ago it was only the . beginning of this week they had their . big summit trump cannot stop talking . about what a great guy kim is he's a . great negotiator yeah yeah we found that . out he's got a great personality he says . he's a funny guy he said he's a funny . he's a funny guy . kim there's a funny you know he does . this one bit you get off so funny where . he will throw three generations of your. family in jail if you're listening to a . radio that's not on the government . station it's just it's great stuff and . then he sings right into his bit about . how many north korea does it take to. screw in a lightbulb none we have no . electricity. so donald trump is over there and tried. to convince kim to whatever that would . try to do come into the modern world so . he shows him i couldn't make this up a . fake movie trailer that trump put . together it looks like kim put it . together . truck did you see this show a few . seconds of this you have to see it to . believe it . a new world can begin today what a . friendship respect and goodwill looks . like something scientology would make if. they were merging with amway trump comes . up he's got the great beaches their . hotels yes because so many people in . that country have money to burn so they . begin to get a condo on the beach of . course and you know resort hotels in . north korea are a little different you . look you call down to room service they . ask him you of any food . so and of course all the critics are. saying they're right you know nothing . really came of this it was two people . who lie about everything who signed a . deal that was specific about nothing i . would say it was a feckless stunt but . while he was in singapore the president . passed a milestone he turned 72 years. old they trump people are welcome insane . but welcome but they throw him a big . party in the hotel suite and then the . hookers peed happy birthday on the back . .
 

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