THE WORST DATE I’VE EVER HAD | Check Please

This is the worst date I've ever had, Check Please!!
Tour Tickets β–Ί https://www.jacksepticeyetour.com
Barry Has A Secret β–Ί https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23_sRUri_cc
β–ΊTwitter : https://twitter.com/Jack_Septic_Eye
β–ΊInstagram: http://instagram.com/jacksepticeye
Game Link β–Ί https://swav-gav.itch.io/check-please
Edited by: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHsjBlPYou_k7FgMKLCo5JA
Outro animation created by Pixlpit:
https://www.youtube.com/user/pixlpit
Outro Song created by "Teknoaxe". It's called "I'm everywhere" and you can listen to it here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPtNBwMIQ9Q
Caption:
Don't worry ladies my name is . jacksepticeye and i have brought you all . here out tonight for a sweet sultry . dinner i know we've been looking at each . other across the cafeteria every now and . then making eyes and sort of like . gesturing to each other you know how we . do you know that gesture we have but . i've seen some sparks in the air and . i've thought for a long time about . asking all 18 million of you out on a . date so i thought tonight was the night . when to become one so this is check . please. it's a game that mixes the horrible . atrocity that is hand simulator trying . to move your hand all over the place . as well as social anxiety and fear of . commitment so if you have any fears at . all this is the one that's going to . bring them out of you oh gosh she looks . angry why are you mad it's a little dark . in here can you make it okay jazz band . can you just keep it down for a second . holy god um what why did i get a check . already oh didn't didn't really work out . huh set up a blind date brought you in . then you sat down looked at me and . thought oh dear dear god no i need to . get out of here okay oh different person . this side the lady would attach all . right it's little dark in here can you . light the candle milady no problem at . all i can light anything do you do you . want me to twist a titty off i can do . that too okay let's do this i'ma grab . this magic fire stick all right man make . fire okay another one just appeared out . of nowhere. haha i am magic watch this whoosh see . that shit here you go take that take . that. it's from me to you masha hey i just . thought it would be nice to bring you . out here finally and look at the . moonlight through your mustache hairs . all right could you pour us some wine no . problem at all my love's let me just . grab the bottle here no problem watch me. go okay haha but that's gonna leave a . stain. haha comedy i like to break the ice with . it okay oh that was a fake mustache . you're a liar what else did you lie . about can you actually swim across the . great canal of ireland or was your . tinder profile fake to never know who to . trust anymore okay here's your here's . your stupid wine go look . i suppose your drinking problem was fake . as well nope you can't even hold a glass . i guess that was true all right . i poured us some wine there we go. i mean i did spill the blood of our . enemies on the table too but just like . to have a bit of what what is your . problem right now. i poured us some wine look gob gob gob . gob drink drink drink she didn't like . the wine i poured so i murdered her . that's what other blood all over the . table is it's not whining at all okay . they don't call me jack anova for . nothing okay . cassis casanova jack that was my name in . college so if anyone knows how to woo . the ladies either be to jack and i'm . gonna do it this time look happy smiley . faces yes it's a little dark in here can . you light the candle . for you my love i would light the world . on it itself on fire there you go . oh oui oui ma cherie would you pour us . some wine i will pour you the stars . themselves into your face okay okay a . little wine is fine for some reason it . is getting all over the table as well oh . yeah uh-huh . there you go yeah drink up your wine . alcohol you know what light slave and i . slave over this all day and what do you . do you don't even like it i get rid of . it all i stab you with the knife come . here come here stabby stab stab turns. out you're not supposed to stop people . when you're on a date okay speed dating . okay. next bring in the next one okay okay . looking good looking good already a . spoon just materialized out of nowhere . it's the magic between us that is . causing that you know that sandra you . know i've always admired you as you deal . with all those accounting books every . single day and i think to myself man if . only she could account for her own . happiness as well as she accounts for . this company yes some wine ah the sweet . tender meatballs can you feed me three . meatballs i could if that bottle wasn't . pissing over the edge okay okay okay . okay do you want me to like . should i use a fork for this i probably . should right okay here comes the . meatball train choo-choo there's one you . see how i'm giving you meatballs off my . side of the table yes here this one's . not actually a meatball this one's a . piece of poo from earlier what i was . being nothing but nice i was being the . most wonderful the wonderful hosts but . the honey one has ever seen because they . stabbed her in the face at the fork . wasn't it my bad they got the trash . friend discount mademoiselle would you . like me to light this candle for you of . course you would wash the magic the . night is set ablaze right in front of us . okay i just got to move my slow hand all . the way over okay don't knock those . don't cut those okay it's inevitable to . knock those there's your wine okay i'm . gonna feed you a meatball . here you go did i feed it to you i am . not sure what is your problem lady . okay i came out here and i shaved my ass . for nothing wait we smell no i smell . like a summer breeze it's you that's the . problem it's a little dark in here can . you light the candle it's actually fine . maybe if you didn't have talked comer . you'd be fine all right here we go i'm . lighting the candle okay oh you're happy . again wow . needy much okay i'm gonna get rid of my . glass i don't need it i don't drink i'm . not an alcoholic like you sandra okay . sorry sorry sorry you gotta break a few . eggs to make a few baskets . okay okay one meatball i don't know what . you expect out of a relationship . sandra okay but if you are giving up on . men two minutes into the relationship . after i slave over these mate balls then . i thought fuck it this is the i'm going . to die alone forever in a bathtub filled . of my own feces song i know what it is . it's cause of what i'm wearing isn't it . [music]. idea you got this you got this you are . the man you were the man we got this . there is no way she can resist the charm . of jack now i even have my shirt . buttoned i haven't done that in years . okay sandra how are you how was your day . this is this is the problem i haven't . just been asking about you i've made it . all about me all this time and my . failings but you know what sandra let's . make tonight all about you here sandra . would you like some wine i am going to . pour it myself. sorry about your knife . [applause]. sandra the meatballs they have arrived . your face is looking ravishing it's . looking quite illustrious sandra i . checked out jesus christ . it's okay sandra just burned myself on a . candle it's fine . sandra i'm waiting a long time to tell . you this but i am your real dad . well maybe have to feed you three . meatballs at the same time how was the . problem that was the problem okay sandra . here comes the meatball plane what more. do you want i asked about your interests . in your feelings i dress up nicely i . feed you the meatballs what do you want . for me is it blood sandra would you like . a flower i . i picked this myself from the gardens on . mont tibby dave oh here you go here you . go it's a flower i got that for you . sandra said you want to see a magic . trick watch poop poop poop hands fine . that's fine it doesn't even hurt it's . fine look whoosh whoosh whoosh magic . right i can do this all day just root . but jesus . [laughter]. son of a fuck. hey sandra blow out the match and make a . wish but what do you mean you don't want . to make a wish and that's for kids i . made a wish when i was seven gene that . if i met a woman of my dreams she blow . out my match and that would be a match . made in heaven it was supposed to be . poetic okay sandra thanks for coming . here this is your intervention tell us . about your relationship with your father . abandonment issues he left you and your . mother when you were quite young . never came back never told you that he . loved you so now you fear all men you're . afraid to commit because what if i leave . you well sandra i'm still here aren't i . i haven't gone anywhere yet and you've . tried to drive me away many times but . this is real this is tangible i know . open up to me sandra in more ways than . one and it reminds me of my relationship . with my dad sandra you know i would . always say papa i love you look at this . picture i drew you and he'd always be . like oh son please go die in a fire we . had a very special connection then he . didn't talk to me much though he never . told me he loved me and what was it . [music]. my finance in havana and i think it's . probably my addiction to heroin that . just drives all of my loved ones away . you know sometimes they just can't . handle it ah there goes my thumb again i . have that tremor it's because of all the . heroin sandra but i promise i'll go . clean for you no no babe i swear i was. only looking at that lady because she . had to be up her skirt i wasn't checking . her out i swear i would never think so i . said fuck you . and he turned to me and he pushed me to . face but i explains the scary have right . up here over my eye . oh i mean under my eye i mean my ear ha . ha ha the whiter poor drake's . i call this one the magic vanishing . chalice i saw it in harry potter sandra . if i threw this shaker at you would it . count as assault you supposed to laugh . sandra joke you you're allowed to laugh . at some things your father again . i get it sandra i get it i want a. century we were out fishing me and papa . and it was a such a good day i'll never . forget it . we were we were out and they we're out. there and i i turned to my dad and said . wow . papa it's just great out here right but . just a parent guys being dudes huh out . here in the lake pond just fishing out . some bass and he turned to me sandra and . he said the wisest words that he's ever . said to me . and i'll never forget it he turned to me . and he said son when you going to grow . up and be a real man . [music]. and i'll never forget it eat my finger . sandra sandra eat my finger america all . the kids are doing it it's cool it's . sexy. oh $91 i forgot my wallet . oh god all right don't panic . sandra's in the bathroom okay you didn't . see me that does it for this video on . check please i am not going to chance my . luck here but i'm just going to say i . think it went pretty well okay sandra . she didn't say much when she was leaving . but she did give me that look . you know the one it's gonna be it's . gonna be hard to keep our hands off each . other at work from now on but i think . futures looking good between us . fingers crossed everybody but the face . [music]. [applause]. [music]. [applause]. this is the knife papa gave to me i mean . he stuck it in me but i took it as a . gift. [music]. .
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